Why My Siblings and I Stopped Doing Birthday Gifts

Dear JAMMers,

Do you ever reach a point in a relationship with someone when you’ve completely run out of gift ideas for each other? Or your circle of friends or family has grown so much that getting a gift for every single one of them feels like a monthly payment plan that never ends?

My sisters and I always enjoyed getting one another birthday gifts. And when they got married, I finally had some boys to shop for! It wasn’t long before they had the most adorable kids who became my absolute favorite people to spoil. And now, our little group has gone from the three of us to the eight of us. 

Eight people to plan for, shop for, and wrap for. Throw in the parents and in-laws, and now we’re averaging a birthday every few weeks. For a while, we were happy to do it, but as time went on, our lives got busier and getting ahead of all the shopping started to feel a lot more difficult. And, frankly, unnecessary. Were we just buying gifts because we felt like we had to? We’re all obsessed with each other and show our love and gratitude all year round. We realized we don’t need to get each other a gift to prove it.

We’re all in the fortunate position that we don’t necessarily NEED anything. And we’ve never really been “things” people to begin with, so it’s rare that there’s an item that we’re desperate to have. (Which also means we’re all pretty hard to shop for) Plus, if we’re gonna ball out, it might as well be on the most fun toys possible for the three little ones. 

So after many years, we finally decided that we would no longer buy each other birthday gifts; we’d only buy for the kids. And when I tell you it’s been a game-changer, I mean it. A weight has been lifted knowing that the mental load of planning and shopping for one another is gone. Instead, we celebrate our birthdays by just spending time together and hanging out as a family. Crazy concept, right?

I highly recommend having an open conversation with your loved ones about a “no gift” policy. I promise you, they’re thinking the same thing. Someone just has to be the first to say it.

Everything’s fine,

Nicole