Hot Take: No one actually likes apple picking

Dear JAMMers,

Summer is coming to an end which means all of our Instagram feeds are about to become one endless scroll of everyone’s “favorite” fall activity…apple picking. The moment the air feels even a little bit crispy, it’s like we’re programmed to hop in our car and head to the nearest farm (which is never actually near). To me, it all just begs the question: does anyone actually enjoy apple picking?

Apple picking is great on paper. Fresh air, some time in nature with family or friends, escaping the city for the day. But what’s the reality of the experience? Rant incoming.

For starters, you wake up at the crack of dawn to drive well over an hour to the “local” farm. You then begin your apple picking journey only to realize your favorite type of apple isn’t even ripe yet, so you settle for what’s available and doesn't require acrobatic moves. You walk amongst the crowds, all while keeping an eye on the ground to make sure you don’t roll an ankle on a rogue apple (Is that a universal concern or is it just me?) After a riveting 15 minutes, you and your crew already start to get bored. But you think, “Well we drove all this way. We can’t leave yet!” 

So you take in the scenery, check out the honey and jams in the little country store, and then do the only thing that doesn’t involve buying anything: take pictures. Because at the end of the day, we only do it for the ‘gram anyway, right? You didn’t put that flannel on in 75-degree heat for nothing.

When all is said and done, what do we take away from the day? I’ll tell ya - an expensive bag of apples bigger than your kid’s backpack on the first day of school. Who needs a bag of 97 apples? We just end up looking like a math problem you read in your kid’s homework. Plus, you’ve now just given yourself days of work baking your ass off to use all those apples before they go bad. (Send recipes/help) 

Sure, apple picking is a gateway activity to eating apple cider donuts (That's one amazing thing about it). But at the end of the day, is it all it’s cracked up to be? Did apple picking even exist before Instagram? If an apple is picked from a tree and there’s no camera to catch it, did it really happen?

Maybe I’m just grumpy that summer is over or just eager to skip right to the holiday season. But I’ll be honest. Despite my thoughts on the subject, you’ll probably still catch me posing with my friends at an apple orchard and posting it on my story. Can you blame me? I’m just a girl.

Everything’s fine,

Nicole