6 Things I Say In My Thirties That Young Me Would Make Fun Of
May 18, 2025
2 min read
Dear JAMMers,
There was a time when I thought I’d never become that adult. You know, the one who says things like “I can’t go out, I already put comfy pants on” or gets excited about Costco. But now? I say things that would make 19-year-old me almost choke on her Taco Bell.
So here are 6 things I say in my thirties that young me would mock mercilessly.
“It’s too late for coffee.” Anyone who knows me knows that I have a very strict caffeine cut off time of precisely 1:30 PM. If I have coffee or even just caffeinated soda after that time, I will surely be up all night. Meanwhile, college Nicole used to chug espresso at 1AM to finish up a paper that was due at her 7:30 AM class.
“I should’ve stretched.” If I do any physical activity beyond just walking up the 6 stairs of my own home, I’m pulling some type of muscle. It’s hard to imagine I was an athlete when I was younger who barely stretched before a game or practice.
“It’s so loud in here.” (ALT: It’s so dark in here.”) At this age, everywhere I go feels like Hollister circa 2007: super loud and impossible to see. The amount of times I have used my phone’s flashlight to read a restaurant menu would make young Nicole roll her eyes so, so far back.
“I’m just gonna drive.” - Me going out to a bar or somewhere there will be alcohol. At this point, drinking isn’t fun anymore; I get tired after 1 glass of wine and then I get a headache the moment I wake up the next morning. So no more designated drivers or expensive Ubers. I’ll happily drive myself, and anyone else, to the event.
“We needed this rain.” I don’t think I ever paid as much attention to the weather as I do now. The only time I would care about the weather when I was younger was if there were rumors of a snow day.
“Back in my day…” Enough said.
So yeah…turns out I am that adult. But to my younger self: don’t knock it till you’ve tried falling asleep by 9 PM with a white noise machine and zero regrets.
Everything’s fine,
Nicole
